Curse

nugzta · Jun 09, 2007, 01:54 PM // 13:54

It is not worth it, dont trust complete strangers especially on internet.

Moa Bird Cultist · Jun 09, 2007, 01:59 PM // 13:59

Yes, it's worth it, if only because if you were deliberately behaving the opposite way, it would likely make you feel awful. It's also worth it because there are other nice people out there, contrary to popular opinion. It's just a lot of people get their hands burned this way thanks to the legions of 8-13 year olds who can't help but think of nobody but themselves. Basically, if you're broad minded enough to ask this question, then a definite yes, in my opinion. Thats the way it is for me anyway.

Anyway, my measure of kindness is the sort of thing you can't measure in gold anyway - assistance with a troubling mission or quest, helping a new player find their feet, answering simple questions that most people are too lazy to answer. Things like that cant be resold.

JeniM · Jun 09, 2007, 07:02 PM // 19:02

I have recently been on a "fill my storage like crazy" spree as i have a terrible feeling these "Monuments" in GW:EN will cost to build.
So i was on silk - farming webs on plains of Jarin (yes noob farm but at 1-3 per run and a 1-2min run it's still 30 atleast per hour for no effort)
One of the mobs i kill everytime is Hassin Softshell and he drops his green a lot - I don't hugly need the 35g from merching it so i open trade with random paragons and give it away, i don't care if they sell it or stick it in bin at least i feel good

But so far the only "thank you" i have had was when i gave a Stormbringer away in Ascalon.
Out of the 20-30 Hassin's Shell's i have had zero thanks
I don't do it to hear people thank me but it is nice when someone gives you free stuff even if you only merch it

chembaron · Jun 09, 2007, 07:08 PM // 19:08

I'm nice to the people I know. My kindness is earned in a game. I don't like to be taken advantage of, and I know my friends won't do that. The likelihood of a stranger doing that is much greater.

Diddy bow · Jun 09, 2007, 07:11 PM // 19:11

Yes as long as someone isn't an ass or treats me like one id gladley be nice to them ^^.

Gimme Money Plzkthx · Jun 09, 2007, 07:20 PM // 19:20

If you're nice, you'll either regret it as they waste your kindness or get stalked for more help.

hallomik · Jun 09, 2007, 08:28 PM // 20:28

I take a different view than most here.

You're not really doing anyone a favor by giving some random, new player an end game weapon.

Although it may make you feel good, you're actually doing a couple of negative things:

1) You're making the early part of the game artificially easy for them. This could impair their learning and leave them stuck on poor builds. This, in turn, could lead to real frustration once they hit the harder parts of the game.

2) You're actually robbing them of any sense of accomplishment once they finally get a good drop like that themselves. One of the fun things about a new character is that each time you adventure, you stand a good chance of getting a better item. I personally felt great when I got my first max collector bow, and even better when I got my first green drop. That achievement would have felt like nothing if someone gave me a max sword pity handout when I first stepped into Ascalon city.

It is MUCH better to help a new player with a mission, give them some tips on their build, or point them to a good website than to give them a perfect weapon.

It's the same misguided instinct parents have in giving their 16 year olds a new sports car. It may make the parent feel good, but it's really a form of vanity that does the kid no favor.

Jesta · Jun 09, 2007, 08:55 PM // 20:55

I think it doesnt really matter what the other person does, you did the good deed, dont worry about it - it even pays off in some cases. Like when I was in yaks and bought a bag to many, so I advertised free bag - sure enough, I get someone who takes it. About 2mins later, I get a random asking if I would like a bow, I go to their guildhall, and they give me an elswynth longbow. Sure not the greatest bow, but I still use it to this day

Nemo the Capitalist · Jun 09, 2007, 09:59 PM // 21:59

i m dissapointed with species as well

Rhedd · Jun 09, 2007, 11:12 PM // 23:12

Wondering if it's "worth it" to be nice implies that you're only being "nice" to get some return on your investment, which isn't exactly as "nice" as it seems at first, is it?

Therefore, being truly nice is always "worth it".

^_^

Just food for thought.

JeniM · Jun 10, 2007, 12:34 AM // 00:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by hallomik

I take a different view than most here.

You're not really doing anyone a favor by giving some random, new player an end game weapon.

Although it may make you feel good, you're actually doing a couple of negative things:

1) You're making the early part of the game artificially easy for them. This could impair their learning and leave them stuck on poor builds. This, in turn, could lead to real frustration once they hit the harder parts of the game.

2) You're actually robbing them of any sense of accomplishment once they finally get a good drop like that themselves. One of the fun things about a new character is that each time you adventure, you stand a good chance of getting a better item. I personally felt great when I got my first max collector bow, and even better when I got my first green drop. That achievement would have felt like nothing if someone gave me a max sword pity handout when I first stepped into Ascalon city.

It is MUCH better to help a new player with a mission, give them some tips on their build, or point them to a good website than to give them a perfect weapon.

It's the same misguided instinct parents have in giving their 16 year olds a new sports car. It may make the parent feel good, but it's really a form of vanity that does the kid no favor.

Sorry i had no idea people felt this way about free stuff.
I promise i won't give anything for free ever again

Issac · Jun 10, 2007, 12:40 AM // 00:40

It all depends on the person who u are talking to lol. You'll know when to be nice and when not to lol. But it is worth being nice, you never know you might be rewarded.

Rhedd · Jun 10, 2007, 01:26 AM // 01:26

I find it interesting how many people in this community think that whether or not to be nice to someone depends on what that person is like.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I could keep a straight face while saying something like, "I'm only nice to nice people", or "I'm only nice to people who aren't strangers". Let alone, "I'm nice to people lots, because you never know when you might get something good out of it."

Did you know that reputable, commonly accepted psychological studies have shown that only 10% of adults are capable of making, or even recognizing, a moral decision on a level higher than that of a five-year-old?

Now think about the other 90%...

DreamRunner · Jun 10, 2007, 02:38 AM // 02:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhedd

I find it interesting how many people in this community think that whether or not to be nice to someone depends on what that person is like.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I could keep a straight face while saying something like, "I'm only nice to nice people", or "I'm only nice to people who aren't strangers". Let alone, "I'm nice to people lots, because you never know when you might get something good out of it."

Did you know that reputable, commonly accepted psychological studies have shown that only 10% of adults are capable of making, or even recognizing, a moral decision on a level higher than that of a five-year-old?

Now think about the other 90%...

And what moral decision is that between an higher sense and that of a 5 year old? Seems like a bad statistic to me, and its hard to believe in something from the internet, let alone in a forum.

Vahn Roi · Jun 10, 2007, 04:53 AM // 04:53

It's always worth it to be nice to people, but you take a great risk when being nice becomes a matter of monetary charity. I have no shame in saying I do not give hand outs to people outside of my alliance, too many people out right lie about being new. I will however, help a total stranger in Shing Jea with a quest or run someone to Piken for free, I just don't give out money or items.

In fact, I don't even see these requests as my local chat is off 99% of the time I'm on, so I don't feel bad for not giving stuff away to "new" people :]

the_jos · Jun 10, 2007, 08:06 AM // 08:06

I have mixed feelings about being nice.
I'm doing most Tyrian map compares on guru lately, which I think is being nice to others that need help. I also know that last 1-2% is hard to find.
I quit (or almost quit) comparing maps with lower %, since it's still easy to find spots and the title should not be a ride in the park.

The same in game.
I used to hand out weapons in Ascalon and other places and might still do that sometime.
But I'd rather mission/bonus/quest with someone.
I don't mind 'abuse' of the items I gave to someone, but I do mind a frequent stream of whisps for small favors.
There have been a couple of people lately that I'm really considering putting on my ignore list. And the only reason is that I've been nice to them once or twice and they just keep asking for more.

In my guild, I'm just being me (that's nice almost all the time) and it paid off so far, being promoted to officer, later appointed as second in command in the guild.
I know almost all members, so I know who really needs something and who don't.
But also in the guild, being nice is more about playing with people and less about giving stuff away.

Realm of Fiery Doom · Jun 10, 2007, 08:35 AM // 08:35

I usually tell people information like where to go to find the Xunlai, etc. etc., but if they ask for money/items, I give them a little bit. If they don't ask for more, turn around sell the items that I gave to them etc., then I add them to my friends list and give them a bit more

Rhedd · Jun 10, 2007, 09:05 AM // 09:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by DreamRunner

And what moral decision is that between an higher sense and that of a 5 year old? Seems like a bad statistic to me, and its hard to believe in something from the internet, let alone in a forum.

Congratulations on being the first to disbelieve! Somebody had to. ^_^

My wife has a degree in psychology. Maybe I can convince her to write you a nice explanation of the details of the studies, the exact findings, etc. Probably not, though, so don't hold your breath.

Honestly, if I were you I'd continue to disbelieve me. I can't say that hearing all about criminal psychology over dinner does anything to improve my opinion of my fellow man. You're better off not knowing, I think.

Elruid · Jun 10, 2007, 12:43 PM // 12:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhedd

Congratulations on being the first to disbelieve! Somebody had to. ^_^

My wife has a degree in psychology. Maybe I can convince her to write you a nice explanation of the details of the studies, the exact findings, etc. Probably not, though, so don't hold your breath.

Honestly, if I were you I'd continue to disbelieve me. I can't say that hearing all about criminal psychology over dinner does anything to improve my opinion of my fellow man. You're better off not knowing, I think.

Holier Than Thou. And much nicer too! Piquant the "^_^".

This supposed wife might be able to shed some light on this particular complex going on in the quoted post. Behind this cheery exterior lies inner despair, hopelessness and trauma. Inadequacy, some sort of insecurity, about personality and self worth. But that's not the main cause. It's the want for power. The person doesn't have enough personal power to support their self esteem. Being so overtly almost condescending, it's like some messianic illusion of self. But in this case the nicety is not well-founded. It's convoluted and just a defense, a means to survive.

Exerting this smugness? over others to save face, and not having to face people in the flesh so to speak. The need to be special, but being too afraid to truly expose oneself and BE special, thus the made up specialness over which the person has control over. Losing control? Is that the reason? Being in control.

With this armor of smugness, the person is in control and in safety when coming face to face with others. It's kind of sosiopathic? Bordering on solipsism, that only YOU are really real, others are just like fantasy? No, not that severe, but still, I feel the person quoted actually has a very LOW opinion of others, maybe projecting something personal, where they themselves only are really worth it.

And this fake cheerfulness compounds that, they actually hate others because their love has not been received by them. The person wants to love, but is embittered by the rejection of the love and thus to maintain mental integrity feels the need for this delusion.

Anyway, ask the missus.

Lonesamurai · Jun 10, 2007, 12:50 PM // 12:50

in my opinion, its always worth being nice... although i do lose my temper sometimes, i desperately try to stay nice to people and it takes a lot to push me over the edge, but from being nice I've made a good group of real life friends through the game